Cocaine Abuse*
A lot of my friends have cats. I am allergic to cats, and I always have been. My parents know I'm allergic to cats, my friends know, and generally, most people know. Now, Commonsense says: Stay away from people with cats, silly. However, I've never really been one to conform.
The story:
Two or three years ago, I was at my friend Stacey's house, with two other friends. Stacey, at this point, had two kittens, which admittedly were rather cute, though they were also brilliant for triggering my allergies. I'd like to make it clear at this point, just for comical reasons, that Stacey has a rather bad track record of keeping cats, what with a fair few of them having died before the 18month stage. Don'taskmehow. So, we were all at Stacey's house, in her room, listening to music, watching TV, and talking about things that only teenagers talk about. No, I don't mean boys.
As the night wore on, I began to feel more and more wheezy, and when it hit apporximately 10 or 11pm, I decided to call it a night, and walk the short distance home, before either sleeping or recovering from my cat-related-wheeziness. However, after walking in my front door, I went into my living room to speak to the family. At which point my nose started bleeding. My ever-caring, highly reasonable parents automatically assumed the worst, asking without hesitation: "Have you been taking drugs?!".
Unfortunately, I was not really in the greatest of moods, due to my nose bleeding, my wheezing, and the fact that it was bloody cold outside. Thus, I replied, in my most sarcastic of tones: "Yes, mum. That's exactly what it is. I've been snorting lines of coke off my friends' coffee tables." Needless to say, neither she nor my father took this very well. Truth be told, they took it rather literally, and refused to take me to hospital. Now, I know what you're thinking... "Nosebleed? Hospital? Pointless, really." But, consider the fact my nose bled 18 times that night, and maybe you'll understand. I am not a hypochondriac.
* Not really.
The story:
Two or three years ago, I was at my friend Stacey's house, with two other friends. Stacey, at this point, had two kittens, which admittedly were rather cute, though they were also brilliant for triggering my allergies. I'd like to make it clear at this point, just for comical reasons, that Stacey has a rather bad track record of keeping cats, what with a fair few of them having died before the 18month stage. Don'taskmehow. So, we were all at Stacey's house, in her room, listening to music, watching TV, and talking about things that only teenagers talk about. No, I don't mean boys.
As the night wore on, I began to feel more and more wheezy, and when it hit apporximately 10 or 11pm, I decided to call it a night, and walk the short distance home, before either sleeping or recovering from my cat-related-wheeziness. However, after walking in my front door, I went into my living room to speak to the family. At which point my nose started bleeding. My ever-caring, highly reasonable parents automatically assumed the worst, asking without hesitation: "Have you been taking drugs?!".
Unfortunately, I was not really in the greatest of moods, due to my nose bleeding, my wheezing, and the fact that it was bloody cold outside. Thus, I replied, in my most sarcastic of tones: "Yes, mum. That's exactly what it is. I've been snorting lines of coke off my friends' coffee tables." Needless to say, neither she nor my father took this very well. Truth be told, they took it rather literally, and refused to take me to hospital. Now, I know what you're thinking... "Nosebleed? Hospital? Pointless, really." But, consider the fact my nose bled 18 times that night, and maybe you'll understand. I am not a hypochondriac.
* Not really.
posted by SuperRoo at 01:57
2 Comments:
Hypochondriac.
Allergic to cats? Cheese? Sorry, melted cheese... what else? What next?
I'm sick of your drama!
Ooops. My bad.
And LMAO... I forgot about your allergy to melted cheese. I'm sorry that it makes me giggle.
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